...She fucks like a star.



I'm lame. I'm annoying. I'm lazy. I'm pathetic. I'm stupid. I'm obscure. I'm insane. I'm irrational. I'm perverted. I'm fierce. I'm mad. I'm weird. I'm vain.

The name's Jacy Ong. Come rock my world.

Feelings I recollect, through stories that I tell.

When life gives you lemons, you paint that shit gold.

I write however I want to. Constructive criticisms are most welcomed. Read at YOUR own risk. I am not responsible for any severe mental retardation or depression or whatsoever.

My E-mail : jacy_sadgurl91[AT]hotmail.com

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Chong Ren
Hao Yi
Jia Qian
Jun Ting
Kah Men
Kah Mun
Kin Wai
Pei Lu
Pei Yun
Sook Mun
Sook Yee
Suet Ching
Suet Kheng
Sze Wei


October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
September 2009

skin by: Jane
Thursday, April 30, 2009 @ 4:36 PM
The Recognition of That One

GOD. Donnie Darko just keeps getting better everytime I watch it honestly. What would you do if you could see the portals to the future? Even if you were to be alive the next day, but to realize that you're alone in the end of everything, what would you do? Well, Donnie chose to leave it all. This movie is such an inspiration. After probably the fourth watch of it, I've finally understood the whole movie. 

And need I mention that the soundtrack is just so beautiful? Except for some unappealing classic songs like Duran Duran? Hahah, sorry babe I'm so not into those songs. But yet really, some are really worth listening to as it gives you the chills. Carpathian Ridge somehow gave me the intimidation when I first watched the movie at night. Talk about rolling the film with that particular music, Donnie laying by the road with his bicycle on the other side of it. Good god, it's made of awesome & intrigue. I have watched many movies in my life, this has to be one of the best apart from the SAW series. 

Maaaan, I still get the creeps seeing Frank, the giant bunny rabbit. ASDFG!?!?!!! Never liked bunnies in my entire life lol.

Oooooohhhh, Manipulated Living scares me shit outta my anus lol. Illiterally of course doh! 


Recently I've been on to so many good shows. Family Guy comes in second after Donnie Darko. It is just another show that is filled with black humour, similar to The Simpsons but considering I never get The Simpsons, Family Guy automatically became my favourite. I fell in love with Stewie instantly omg. He's fulled of diabolical plans and such sophistication in his attitude. That came all from the one year old baby boy. He is extremely cute. \o/


Lunch one fine day.

Eye scream!!!@11!@! <3


The hole on Nie's nose. T____________T

See the hole? T________T

I wanted to write Epik High, but iono why Epik Hair came out instead. >_>

Squirt's scribbles.

I've finally found one person who actually takes liking to Nie lol. YAY! I was back in school helping Amanda with her Physics this time. It was much better than when I was teaching her Chemistry as both of us dread that particular subject. So yeah, Physics worked this time. Owing to the fact that I'm a Physics lover, all things go! IM SUCH AN AWESOME TEACH! XD Throughout the whole evening, she was holding onto Nie all the time! To my surprise actually. I guess he isn't as stinky as he could have been, probably he looked uber dirty but still who cares?! Nie is loved! MWAHAHAHAH. Pwnage. 


OH GOOD GODAMMNIT. ONE MORE FUCKING WEEK TO GO. And I'm so proud to say I have not bought anything yet for college lol. Good lord Jacy Ong! I just got a call from Kah Men, I realized I haven't seen her in more or less 5 fucking months! I miss her so much. I'm glad she'll be willing to come down to Kedah to visit me. Man, I hope we won't reach half a year coz seriously, that's just absurd. 

I've been looking at my virtual calendar these days, counting down I guess. It was 3 rows before this. Now it has come to only one miserable row, signifying one miserable week. Psssht. I hope to get everything prepared for by the next week.

And I guess I made a huge mistake and could never turn back, knowing me.

*tunes in to Donnie Darko soundtrack*

Ahha, bitches. 

Sunday, April 26, 2009 @ 7:31 PM
The Random 101

Now that's one grumpy baby. 

Whoa dude, There's so much I wanted to say, but it just ain't right here. 

BUT WHAT THE HELL. MYK WAS BORN ON THE 13TH SPETEMBER 19**!!!!!!!! Holy shit. I'm ecstatic. If only he knew. LOL. Jacy fangirling is a bad bad thing, and can be annoying at times. I run outta breathe everytime I try Map The Soul (Worldwide Version). Guess I'll practice more. Nevertheless I think that this version of Map The Soul is way much better. Its full of honesty and rawness. Love it love it. 

ANDDDDDDDDDDD. I SAW MAP THE SOUL PROMOTIONAL VIDEO ON TV O MAI GOD?!?!? HOMGWTFBBQ. I was left literally screaming when I first saw the Tablo's mouth in the little television. Frantically I rushed towards my computer as I HAD to tell Yaro babe about it. And right now Yaro is my version of Pemale Anderson and he offered me his merchandise! HUGE PLASTIC SILICON BOOBIES. And you know what, while I was rubbing them, they were leaking their juices off. So much for the 10k silicon tits huh. .... dude. XDDD 

Its final, I'm high again. 


It's been so many years since my family and I actually went for icecream together. I guess there just wasn't time for it, as my father is busy working in KL right now whereas my brother is currently pursuing his studies in Taylor's. Things just ain't the same as before anymore. Haven't been talking much to my brother since few years back. And yet, when I was bleeding myself away due to the fall, he was the one who took care for me. Mann, I feel like such a jerk sometimes and I can't stop being one somehow. Once it's in you, there's so much to take to change oneself and go back to oneself. Whatever that meant to you guys, but I know what it meant exactly as the understanding of oneself is uniquely mine. 

Recently we had the chance of reignition. We went to the icecream bar we used to go a decade back. And you won't be able to imagine the nostalgia surrounding the area that time, it's just the feeling of yearning and longing and reminiscence that makes you wonder, if things could go back to the way they were - when my brother and I were still wrestling against each other, I clearly remembered he rock-bottomed me right on the ground before hahah. And how I used to always watch his back while he games Final Fantasy, Chrono Cross & Xenogears upstairs. I did only the watching as I didn't know how to play such games at all, afraid of losing to those villians and die after. >_> Not that I didn't die in those games before lol. <_<


Speaking about icecream, gratitudos to Amanda for the green tea icecream. Totally enjoyed seeing her creep me out everytime as she just never fail to read my mind. Which is creepy. And yeah, creepy much lol. I doubt I helped her that much with Chemistry as I haven't touched that particular subject in months. But I had fun after all. Nah, see your name?!?! BE HAPPY SQUIRT.

The following day I finally had the chance to meet up with my girls. Haven't really seen them in ages, especially Leeling babi. The 7 of us were screaming our asses off to Coming Soon in the theaters once again lol. I would not recommend the show for you guys out there, as it's a weird play. Iono man, odd feedbacks. We had our lunch at Kenny Roger's, and practically spent the day away talking and talking and talking. Not to mention my stomach was hating my guts like alot. I dunno whats wrong with it man. Fuck. And the day couldn't get anymore better when we went bowling. My precious fingernail chipped off!!!!1!!1one!1eleven1!!!!!! Now I have to grow it all over again. Joykiller much? 

My hall of fame. 

Friday, April 24, 2009 @ 12:06 AM
The Voice that Never Fails

... to make me cry in the worst way possible lol. Perhaps there are more vocalists as great as him, but I'm standing my ground for SATSUKI. The month of May is just full of new surprises, isn't it? Manson's new album, SATSUKI's solo project, and of course my departure!  

I haven't really talked much bout me going for matrics eh. Yennee and I was just talking bout how surreal things are right now for us. We are actually leaving for college. I still remember how was it like to be a form1, and as time grows we became form5s, and how fucking proud we were coz we
were. Suet Ching is way down south, I'll be heading way up north, while Joey & Yennee would be far right. Where would these new directions take us to? That, I'm curious.  

Damnit, Shinwa is killing me. Fuck, srsly listen to RENTRER EN SOI! XD  

No longer confined in a cage, we're just the ugly birds in a beautiful cage don't you think? The exterior may dazzle, but the interior could have been scarred. Have you ever had this gut feeling in your stomach? Wishing that the cogwheels would have turned back for you? I know I certainly did. Sze Wei told me that absence is actually a good thing. Sooner or later, the new replaces and recycles the old away. Yet, its like a slap to the face. Realization and learning were never easy indefinitely.  

It's gonna be rollercoaster ride of emotions. There's just so much I would miss. My family and home, my friends and everyone who once walked into my life, having made a distinctive difference in it. Aw, I love you guys. Who knows I might come back one day, changed and no longer tied down by the society. To be honest, I'm kind of excited. 8D  

WORLD DOMINATION FTW! Stewie finally got to me. >_> 

Ah, I have a feeling I have turned into a different person now. I seem indifferent to people around me. Ignorant oblivious whatever that floats your boat lol. Have I really? :l

Wednesday, April 22, 2009 @ 6:59 PM
The New Shit

Holy shit! Manson's new album will be out end of May! I can't wait for hear his new stuff. 

But then again, I have just warmed up to Eat Me, Drink Me which was probably released on 2007 lol. He took a different approach to that album, and surprisingly, I think its working for me. I thought I would never ever hear of him again since his Lest We Forget album. It was a brilliant compilation of his best work since 10 years ago. He's best known as the artist who goes door to door shocking people. He took a break awhile there, apparently he was searching for himself. He even said he would probably never make music ever again, considering the music industry these days is just well, full of shit.  

However so, Eat Me, Drink Me is by far the closest Manson will ever get to be unplugged. I guess it's still alot of pretty darkness in his music. He's added new vocabulary to the industry for sure. For himself at least, this new approach - softer and matter-of-fact without the huge, screamy choruses - would make you forget what you knew about this guy and it'll come off like a decent and perhaps rather overwhelming record. People who has never seen this side of him should really try this album out. It's a really raw album, I would say. 

Better yet folks, he is finally back and kicking ass with his brand new album titled The High End of Low in stores on 26th May 2009. Damn, I just can't wait. The tracklist is also out, and may I say that it looks just as good as before. 

DAMNIT MANSON! Will you ever come to Malaysia to perform!? ..... like our government would allow. Asses.

And too, I think he is so hot. Beauty definitely knows no gender. He redefined the word beauty and took it up to a whole new level. 

Hahahahah. I'll never look at anus the same way again. 8DDD

Monday, April 20, 2009 @ 11:12 PM
The Random One

Mhhhmmmmm. My friend and I were talking bout the stuffs we'd do just to kill some time for our lusts. Seriously I'd love to have Manson banging me, and she would love to have it from Miyavi. These two men are just lust, like whoa. I'm shocked myself of why I'd choose Manson. But I reckon he's good in bed. MWAHAHAHHA. It'll be so fuckintastic if we had a foursome oh my god. XDDDD I want Manson so badly its not healthy aw. :( 


This goes out to some asshole! Was hinting to me for a dedication. So eat this sucker! You're the maggot in my arsehole. >:D

So yeah. 

You love me. Riiiiiiigghht. 
I'll be seeing you soon.
And prolly give you big tight slap. 
Oh! Don't forget the ice cream! 
You still haven't answered my question btw. Neither have i.
Guess we're even huh. XD

Sunday, April 19, 2009 @ 3:05 PM
The Almost Goodbye

It's official I think. I'll be leaving for Kolej Matrikulasi Kedah on May 11th. I can't say that I'm looking forward to it, praying hard for my JPA nonetheless. All of states, why Kedah?!?! I'm sure I'll be feasting on rice every single day what the hell. XDDD

It's about time to bid goodbye! Who ever said everything was forever. 

i remember my first glimpse of her face
i saw you smile, then i smile
i was straight blown away
mesmerized by your beauty from your feet to your hands
how could one be so beautiful i don't understand
heaven sent, god's gift without a doubt in my mind
sometimes i wonder why our paths decided to collide
we started off as perfect strangers
boy meets girl, infatuation to love
now you're my whole entire world
destiny taps me on the back -- saying hello
but really it was your touch
no and i'll never let you go
then you spoke i never heard a voice so sweet
and from her words man i knew this girl was deep
just like me
with times to worry and times to play
we'll sit and stress over life or just burn the day away

i know for sho' in our past life
we had to be friends livin and dyin together
knowin that we would meet again
it's just a blessin to have you in my life
i was destined, to be with you
my privilege so amazing no question
and i'm knowin, soon enough we'll get where we're goin
just thinkin about it i can feel my heart growing
am i trippin? or is it that i finally see?
i don't know, but my heart is saying that you're the one for me
please believe me, i'm exactly where i wanna be
this rhyme is written from my heart to you

you turn a cocooned soul into a butterfly
and i, lose control, can never turn aside
you shine like summer skies, like when a lover lies next to me and says to me
you make me wonder why
you are a beautiful mystery
every note carved into musical history
a simile, a metaphor, words not enough to
entrust to you,
trust that its true
we must have approved while we asked for evidence
dwell on past and sentiments, but we bask in eminence
every moment every day, busy getting paid away, the soul fades away into a grainy shade of grey
i pray, that you'll listen to what i say,
cause i feel like a missing shoe
this is to everything that you are,
the wild earth, a child's birth, sun moon and the stars

check it out
so i ask what would i be without you?
like stevie without wonder
hunger without food
a sheep without a shepherd
a sleep without your message
that despite the skeptics that i knew were true
and i knew, that there was more to life
and i grew, livin for the light
i took my answers, combined them with yours
it made life exciting but it closed some doors
with the crisis my life accelerated and deflated
sunk to the bottom, then elevated till i faded
but you always had my back though
when kids threw rocks at me, i'm on stage rappin -- still
i see kids without love it brings tears to my soul
but why they always dry up
the world's gone bonkers
ya conquered fear
and as long as i believe
you're the reason i'm here

no reason to live, without you

L-O-V-E-U, i was made to be with you
made to be with you
made to be with you

It's definitely a song about what matters most to us. Some may have found what they're looking for in life, whilst some are just lost, don't know where to go, in need for a greater purpose. 

So how about you? Have you found it? 

I'll definitely bring him along with me. I can't live without Nie. 

Saturday, April 18, 2009 @ 9:38 PM
The Worn

Seriously, I wanted to write but my English has gone from bad to worse. Hence this short lame post. Lameeeeeeeeee. Everything's lameeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. I wear long sleeved shirts under short sleeved shirts under long sleeved shirts fucker! 

Today was spectacular, however. 

Mesmerized by your beauty from your feet to your hands, how can one be so beautiful I don't understand~

Wednesday, April 15, 2009 @ 2:54 PM
The Distort

Either that I'm lazy or something I dunno man.

I have to admit that I've been drugging myself pretty much alot these few days. Not only does it make me feel better but it has become a need in my life to do drugs. Some may be shocked wondering what the heck am I saying. Well yeah I'm on drugs at home. Nobody knows it, my parents my friends my whatever. Think about something that you need everyday as a stimulant for yourself. I think thats pretty much self-explainatory. That is exactly what most people have it as a concept of drugs. When flamed of taking too much drugs, automatically you're the bad guy. What the hell? Drugs should not be confined to just the normal shit ecstacy pills you take to whip or fuck some asses in some hotel rooms. 

Drugs are good for us, it's infuriating to see how people have this wronged assumption of it. When your kid is found injecting her/his body with a slightly overdose of something fishy, there comes the shitty blames and crap. There also, comes the urge to blame the music that you're listening to. Just exactly like what happened in Columbine, I listen to metal and you don't see me going out slashing people with a chainsaw. All these are just like an express way ticket to lure yourself outta the whole mess. And the media is just the perfect example of it. Seriously, music does not make you do things. It makes you think and believe. Whatever happens next is what you've made yourself to do it. 

So, what is a drug again? 


Naw, I'm not on cracks cocaine pinks or whatever. It's just the things I need. I will never do that, maybe. 

A rather controversial thing I'd like to point out. Is tearing up the pages or a bible morally corrupted? Is stepping on your country's flag, or wiping it off your ass, against the law? 

I don't think so. The point to be made is only valid to what you make your heart to believe and you've been told that you have to believe. A piece of paper or cloth doesn't really mean anything. That's the bottomline, and yet people are making such a huge fuss outta it. People are often afraid of things that they do not understand. There are people who thinks that I'm a walking contradiction. There are people who thinks that I'm much better than that. Really, thats what matters. 

This may be provoking read, but I am glad I was never a Christian. The bible is a good book, not that I've read it before or even bothered reading it, but every religion preaches the exact same thing. The way that people misuse the bible is just fucking horrible. I'm sorry that Jesus was a scapegoat. Look around you, how Christian can one get? Sure thing, in church they worship and cry, what happens when they're out of the building? I see all the young believers and old deceivers going extreme, protesting beyond what they were actually supposed to do. Isn't that just ironic? In Malaysia you rarely see these happen, coz you know the shit going on in our country. But lets look at America. 


People claim that Christianity conveys the standard norma that one should at least follow. Fair enough, but what do you think about the fairly nude guy hanging upon the cross? Doesn't that somehow promote sexuality? Crucifixed and the blood showed the sense of violence. Have you ever thought about that? Sometimes its amazing how people could see and derive things. 


Totally unrelated. My friends and I went back to school for IU Day. My father finally let me have it my own way, when I was allowed to finally drive on my own yay! Anyways, it was mediocre, things could only go that far as far as I'm concerned. The committee did their best, credits for that though. Li Tng was sorta worried when there were technical errors during the show. It was obvious. I reassured her that things are going to just go by smoothly as she kept asking me if the event was alright. Talk about being on top and doing such things lol. 

Watched Fast and Furious yesterday with friends. The subtitles had at me WTF?!?! Pantas dan Garang. LOL. How lame can it get man? Shame on you. 


I am somehow attracted to Manson, alot. There is just something about this man, that is worth my time. Hear me when I say this, Manson might be shy and quiet but when he opens his mouth, pearls and diamonds would fall outta it. You'll be surprised how articulately astute he is. Period. 


Btw, Donnie Darko is such a great movie. A must watch. It's a very confusing and dark movie, but it is really worth the watch. Thanks to Yaro and MYK, I had all my senses to the movie. If I were able to see my future, what would I be doing right now? It would be really nice if I could wake up and remember what I dreamt of. 

Thursday, April 9, 2009 @ 9:03 PM
The Brian of all the Brians.

Brian Hugh Warner, notoriously known as Marilyn Manson

No, my title wasn't due to a typo at all. You'll see why I chose my title like that. 
He is probably one of the smartest creature I've ever seen in my life. I still remember clearly who introduced me to his music, it was Doug, when I was in form 1 or 2. We haven't been in touch for years omg, he was the typical kind of guy who was well, depressed and shit. On drugs maybe. I didn't really care about that anyway.

Marilyn Manson. It's so fucking sad everyone misjudge him just coz of his shaved eyebrows, thick red lips, those black dark eyes, and lastly his rather satanic black metal music. Man honestly, I was freaked when I saw him. Can't be blamed eh, for I was just a young weed back then. Manson is just a very well spoken and intelligent person, he certainly does not look like it, but if you see his interviews, it shows without doubt. This man, he contradicts to our beliefs and popular public images. I can't believe he was the one blamed whenever any violence happened. 

"This is probably the sickest group ever promoted by a mainstream record company." quoting some senator. 

Apparently on April 20, 1999, ( Don't think I dunno what you people are thinking, its not current! ) two Columbine High School students walked into their school, shot and killed 13 people, injured many, before turning the guns on themselves. That horrible massacre shocked the country, eventually leading to many assumptions and accusations. And well, in the end, fingers all pointed to the skinny tall man whose face was always caked in white paint, dressed in goth garbage. Yes, Manson was the one to blame. .... or so you people thought?

"I can definitely see why the'd pick me, because I think its easy to throw my face on the television because I am, in the end, the poster board for fear. Because I represent what everyone is afraid of, bacause I do and say what I want. The two by-products of that tragedy were violence and entertainment and gun control. And how perfect coz that was the two things we are gonna talk about in our upcoming election. Well then we forgot about money influence(?) and we forgot about our president who was shooting bombs overseas. Yet, I'm the bad guy because I sing some rock 'n' roll songs. Who's the bigger influence? The president of the United States, or Marilyn Manson? I'd like to think me, but I'd go with the president."  

Now wasn't it slightly different than what we'd usually think? 

Here's moar! 

"There's floods. There's AIDS. There's murder. Cut the comercials.Buy the Colgate, if you have bad breath they're not gonna talk to you. If you have pimples, the girls are not gonna fuck you. And its just a campaign of fear and consumption."

Interviewer : If there was anything you'd like to say to the kids in Columbine and the people of the community, what would you say to them if they were right here right now?

Manson : I wouldn't say a single word to them. I would listen to what they had to say, and thats what no one did. 

See what I mean right now? 

Wednesday, April 8, 2009 @ 6:59 PM
The Lost Sheep


.... is still alive! 

Yes people, I am still alive don't worry. I know I haven't been updating in awhile, I hope the commitment to my site is still ongoing strong. Damn you guys for all the patience! HUR HUR.

To kick things off, I'll start with my JPA interview which was like last Friday. I have to say, I was proud of myself in both appearance and performance wise. Just tell me if you are able to picture Jacy Ong in a traditional classic baju kurung, heels and my trustworthy hair-band! 8D Definitely not my style, but its JPA interview I'm going for man. Whatever it takes to please the interviewers as one of the 8000 interviewees in Malaysia. 

It was all done according to procedures and all. I saw some familar faces, made some new friends. But I guess the friendship died right after the interview, coz we headed home right after. My group of 5, nevertheless, had an indian guy from Parit Buntar(?), two chinese guys from Sam Tet and one girl from PGS. A few of them were quite shy and quiet, so I had to break the ice and to ease the nerves that was around the room man. The interviewers were really professional, they knew when and what and how to headshot us while we were talking. Not that it was bad, they have been in their own respective fields for so long, more than us at least, so yeah I respect them. 

..... one of them was good-looking. He's a lecturer of mechanical engineering in some university. My area my areaaa! DAMN. XD 

Overall I think I did well. I volunteered most of the time to give my opinions and thoughtful thoughts maybe lol. It doesn't really matter if you don't make sense in an interview, you just really need the confidence and zest throughout the whole process. That is what they are looking for. Not solely on your ability to churn all the statistics and information in. Its the people networking we are emphasizing in every interviews. I am pretty darned sure Malaysia wouldn't want to send ineloquent and passive students overseas. But then again, there are alot of factors to be considered. It's in the JPA's hands to decide.

Look at teh freakin shoulder pads! <_<


Ah, Suet Ching left for Singapore Sunday night. I hope she's doing fine now, adapting to new environment surely ain't an easy thing to do, but she can pull it off. We had a farewell party for here in KBox. 'Nuff said. Yennee and I got to see her before she departed. The moment both of us saw her, tears were all in our eyes. It was just so hard to say goodbye and take care in Singapore lol. Everytime I wanted to say that, I had to pause as tears were welling up in my eyes. See what you have done to me, Suet Ching?! Take care in Singapore, too bad I couldn't come with you coz I opted for JPA. =\ 


I've accepted the offer from the University of Nottingham under the Faculty of Engineering for Foundation in Engineering. If things don't work out for my overseas programme, I hope both JPA and Nottingham would be in liaison after I've applied for the local one. :)


Decomposing at home nowadays. My injuries aren't exactly a hundred percent healed, when will it farking recover?!?!? ._. Oh oh oh! Did I tell you bout MYK? He's just drop dead charming, especially when he starts rapping oh my god. !#@$@#%$!$~$ I've been guitaring alot these days, I am not satisfied with my guitar strings, it rusted after like a few days! My previous ones were so reliable. Don't ever get your guitar strings fixed at Music Store. >_>

Been over The All-American Rejects, no matter how many times I listen to them, they're still just as good. Did guitar covers of Gives You Hell, Another Heart Calls, Move Along, Straitjacket Feeling and so many more of their awesome songs man. Good stuff good stuff. Oh, Tyson. Shinyi you can't pijak him or I'll pijak your Kisaki. =D 

I'll be going for Wang Lee Hom's concert on May 2nd. WTF? I don't even know that guy and his songs. @@

To those people out there who thinks that they could actually DOWNLOAD tshirts, here's some cheap ass teesharts, please go to http://www.shirtdownloadblog.com/shirts/more_shirts/craploadofshirts/fuck_off/no_shirts/just_kidding/here_are_the_shirts/epikhaiii-shirt.shrt

Dude, I mean downloading music is acceptable. But downloading tshirts?! You are stupid. 

Let music seize the day honey. 

Saturday, April 4, 2009 @ 9:36 PM
The Semi-Hiatus

Well, its only a semi-hiatus. I'll promise a convincing update after I get my pictures! :) 

YcajGno Maggot + MapTheSoul = AWESOMENESS. 

Well, I'm still waiting till my father agrees on it.